Probably the umpteenth time I've sat on the seat at the bus stop, imagining myself getting up and walking straight. Straight into the busy traffic. The sight of my limp body thrown in the air, crushed by the impact- a sight way too familiar for my own good.

The tears won't stop.

I'm crying.

I'm afraid.

I've had enough.

Let my heart stop and let me die.

I don't care and nobody should either.

Fuck this. I'm gone.

Florence and the Machines

I'm not calling you a liar,
Just don't lie to me.
I'm not calling you a thief,
Just don't steal from me,
I'm not calling you a ghost,
Just stop haunting me,
And i love you so much,
I'm gonna let you,
Kill me.

There's a ghost in my lungs
And it sighs in my sleep,
Wraps itself around my tongue,
As it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs

To Fall,
To Fall,
To Fall, at your feet.
Oh but for the grace of god go on,

And when you kiss me, I'm happy enough to die.

The clock is ticking.

Had hist test today.

Got back our SS test and for once seeing my marks i felt hopeful of my future and studies.

I got 16/17 anyway, not that'd you'd care.

It's funny how something so insignificant to someone can mean so much to me.

That's just me. I make safe bets. Too safe that i don't bother pushing myself.

Maybe that's the reason why i suck at everything.

It's just that i'm so afraid. Afraid that if i set my sights up too high, I'll fall back into a pit of nothingness.

About my test, it wasn't hard at all-i knew everything like the back of my palm

but, really, the only thing i could've wished for was for more time.

Ironic right? Wouldn't that be like the last thing i'd wish for? For more

Time.

Heck, i'd wish for less.

My life that is. But who am i to decide how long (or short) i live.

I am a nobody after all. I should just treat my life like how i treat other things.

Live for the sake of living.

Eat for the sake of eating.

Study for the sake of studying.

Like a robot. See my life wouldn't be so miserable if i had something to live for.

Well really, not that i don't only thing's that i have just as many reasons not to.

It's like a battle. A race. A huge gamble on my listless.

Life.

One wrong move and that's it;

Good Bye, world.

Relate

My biggest mistake wasn't falling for you.

It was thinking you had fallen for me too.

Mr T

My life doesn't revolve around you.

My life doesn't revolve around what you do,

My life doesn't revolve around what you want me to do.

You disgust me.

You irk me.

I've never been so disgusted by someone this much in my entire life.

Goes for the both of you,

yes you too Mr Y, you pussy.

But you know what? The fact that i didnt cry proved that i couldn't care anymore.

Which is sad. Cause who wouldve thought?

That'd it'd be YOU who'd extinguish any ounce of passion i had left for

Music.

It's times like these when i get so tired of arguing, of reasoning out, that i'd just wish for my life

To

End.

I love you.

I tried to convince myself to stop loving you.

But each and everytime i turn to catch your gaze, i get drawn back even closer than ever before.